Facebook Jesus tells me when people are pregnant.

Facebook Jesus helps a guy I went on an awkward date with 5 years ago find out where I live.

Facebook Jesus invites me to parties.

Facebook Jesus gets really into Breast Cancer Awareness month.

Facebook Jesus has made Mark Zuckerberg a lot of money.

Facebook Jesus reminds me it’s your birthday.

Facebook Jesus feels threatened by Google+.

Facebook Jesus gives me an empty feeling if I linger too long.


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